Acceptance is one-sided?

I have been doing a lot of thinking. When I called Chris this morning,I got a text that said: "Space." Then I texted:

I understand. I'm so sorry for last night. It was in reaction to my therapy session. I gave Leanna everything and I am done for good. I'm reconsidering my real friends and how I treat them. I'm so sorry, Chris.

Translation: I am done smoking weed and I am making new friends.

Actually, it's really funny. I went into Panda Express today and what do you know, but Danny Palomino is there with his brother. I'm obsessed with fortune cookies. The fortune said, "You will bump into a good friend." Odd. Anyway, I guess that's a good sign.

So I texted Chris this fact and received another text: "Space."

And I don't even know what to think. That's a lie. I do. It's why don't I love myself? Like, I want so much change, but is this what IIII want, or what Chris wants? Of course it's what Chris wants, but I am not the same girl who he fell in love with. I am not the no sex, no drugs, no drinking girl. I cheated on him. I don't think smoking pot is bad anymore. I'm growing up. I've dealt with a lot. I'm still getting through my eating disorder, for god's sake.

I accept who I am, I just wish the person I love accepted me.