I reread last night's blog. And that was a cop out. About growing up. I guess I was just trying to say that I've never been here in my life before, and I don't know which direction it will take next because I never thought I would be here.
There.
I just gave a big sigh. My heart hurts. Chris called me today, almost happy. He said he's considering moving to Georgia. He'd take a job as kitchen staff, (which pays less than minimum). He'd stay for room and board, working with Sydney, probably the best person Chris knows.
My heart just hurts. But in an unselfish way, I think this would be good for him. I know this would be good for him.
He was just such a dick. A foreign person at dinner. He didn't show any sign of affection. And it's like... This is a huge deal. And he didn't even discuss it with me because all that's going on in his head is "Fuck you, Brighid" and Sydney's, "Brighid's actions show that she doesn't love you."
Man, screw you both. Go Chris. Go to Georgia. I don't want to date you anymore, but hell if I'm dating anyone else. Then come back and I'll be here for you. Fixed and new.
Fuck you, Chris. Fuck you and your pity owls through AIM. Not saying goodbye to me. Not showing me the Brighid love. I don't know why I cheated, but Chris's actions are certainly not loving.
Big sigh.
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2 comments:
I love your honesty.
shit happens. and it's such a reality check when it does. it's so demeaning that these slight changes in people's ideas and actions can have such a heavy impact on our emotions
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